Reverso
by GeminiEmerald
Summary: When the wrong spell is spoken, and recollections get reversed, Harry and Draco find that pain and pleasure are in the memory of the beholder...**COMPLETE** Please read and review! SLASH H/D.
1. The Tower

Disclaimer: All characters property of J.K. Rowling. Don't own 'em, wish I did. Wouldn't be scrounging for bunny food. Just having a little fun with the boys. I'll put 'em back where I found them straight away after the show... Notes: Started writing close to midnight Dec 31st, slightly under the influence. Plus this is my first attempt at writing H.P. (Well, except for a short Snape funfic for a dear friend)...Thanks to my three Js: Jenny, Jess and Julie, for editing, criticism, Briticism, (Julie, you are more British than the Queen!) and plot point suggestions.You guys are amazing! Summary: When the wrong spell is spoken and recollections get reversed, Draco and Harry find that pain and pleasure is in the memory of the beholder....  
  
Reverso  
  
Chapter I. The Tower  
  
Seventh-Year. 26 April. 12:09 a.m.  
  
Ok, just do it...  
  
Draco leaned over the edge of the Astronomy tower, peering into the dark, cool night.  
  
A few seconds...it will all be over.  
  
It was more than he could bear. 17 years had led to this.  
  
Draco welcomed the cold. It numbed him. After all, wasn't that what he had tried to do all his life? Become numb?  
  
Memories of his scarred life flashed through his mind, memories of teddy bears ripped from his hands because they were "sissy" at age 3, memories of a searing hand print on his porcelain face because he didn't "perform the spell just right" at age 7, memories of bruises, of blinding pain, when he didn't beat the unbeatable Harry Potter in Quidditch at age 12. And the unspeakable when he refused to join the Death Eaters at age 17.  
  
He was through being numb.  
  
In a few seconds...it will all be over  
  
Sleep would not come to Harry Potter.  
  
It rarely did anymore. Not since the nightmares had started. After his fourth-year, the sights and sounds that had burned into his very soul replayed almost every night in his subconscious. The war following had been almost more than he could bear.  
  
The screams, the blood, the blinding green light, the touch of a hand slowly losing the warmth, turning cold, so cold....  
  
Some days...  
  
It was more than he could bear.  
  
Harry swung his legs out of the antique four poster bed that had been his refuge and torture chamber for 7 years, and dressed quietly.  
  
"Well", he muttered under his breath,"another late night stroll."  
  
They did seem to help. Usually by the time he wandered back to bed hours later he was too tired to do anything but fall into dreamless sleep. Grabbing the invisibility cloak from the chest at the bottom of the bed, he crept downstairs and through the common-room. He usually just started walking, not really caring where his feet took him, but tonight, for some reason, he felt like a little fresh air.  
  
Harry found the door for the steps to the Astronomy tower.  
  
Draco stood at the edge of the smallest stone barrier.  
  
Leaning over ledges....  
  
He looked down, and down, hundreds of meters, to the dew covered grass barely visible, even with the nearly full moon.  
  
Cutting my heart, burning my soul...  
  
He was so tired of the hurt, the pain, of being a complete and utter failure in everything he did. A failure in school, in Quidditch, in relationships...and mostly, in the eyes of his father.  
  
Nothing left to hold....  
  
A few more seconds. A small grin played across his weary face. The old cliche' of "They won't have Draco Malfoy to kick around anymore" had crossed his mind. He had been here before, but had always backed away, always tried to find something to keep going for. But now...  
  
Nothing left, but blood and fire.....  
  
He stepped forward, the moonlight catching the glistening tears streaming down his face even as he tried to choke them back.  
  
Draco fell into the dark, unforgiving night.  
  
Harry had opened the door to the landing 15 seconds before he saw Draco leap from the stone, wondering what he was doing up here this time of night, so close to the edge, and was he really crying?  
  
He started toward him, realizing Draco didn't even know he was there, he was staring at something on the ground, something from the forest, maybe? Did one of the spiders finally find their way onto the school grounds or was it....  
  
What the hell is he doing?  
  
It took a second to register in Harry's mind what Draco really was doing on the tower. As he bent his knees and pushed off the side, Harry instinctively rushed to grab him.  
  
"Malfoy! No!"  
  
Harry grabbed Draco around the waist, and held tightly. He was not going to let him go.  
  
Trouble was, nothing was holding Harry.  
  
The stone steps were gone, the tower was empty.  
  
And both boys were now falling through the dark, unforgiving night.  
  
End of Chapter I  
  
A/N: The lines in the middle section are from the Indigo Girls song "Blood and Fire". 


	2. Reverso

Chapter II. Reverso!  
  
The cold wind rushed up to and past Draco and Harry as they fell, faster and faster toward the grass below. Harry frantically tried to remember a spell, ANY spell, that would save them.  
  
One hundred meters... . Harry fumbled for his wand, the folds of his cloak whipping violently, making it difficult to find the pocket.  
  
Fifty meters...  
  
"Come on, dammit," he muttered, finally catching hold of the wand. But would it be in time?  
  
Twenty-five meters...  
  
There was a spell that would reverse the fall, put them back up on the tower. Harry had read about it, but had never used it. Revers... Rever...What was it? In a few seconds, it really wouldn't matter anyway.  
  
Ten meters...  
  
Harry held the wand toward the ground, keeping his other arm wrapped firmly around Draco.  
  
"Reverso!"  
  
A shimmering cloud burst from the tip of his wand. Harry and Draco fell into it, time and bodies coming to a complete standstill as the strange vapor enveloped them. In a blinding flash of white light the cloud vanished, and dropped the two students 5 meters to the ground below. Harry lay still for a moment, hardly daring to look up, before it truly sank in.  
  
"We're alive," he whispered.  
  
"Thanks a lot, Potter."  
  
The voice was quiet, but loudly sarcastic. Harry turned to look at Draco, who was lying on his back beside him.  
  
"I saved your life, you stupid git." Harry exclaimed. "What were you doing up on that tower in the first place?"  
  
Draco sat up, rolling onto his knees as he leaned toward Harry.  
  
"Did it ever occur to you, SAINT Potter, that I might not have wanted to be saved?"  
  
For the first time Harry saw how swollen and red Draco's eyes were. Draco continued. "I should have known. I can't even off myself properly. And of course, you come along and play the hero, risking your life yet again. If you are waiting for a thank you and another award, I'm afraid you're going to keep waiting this time, Potter. Your intervention was neither asked for nor welcomed."  
  
Harry was speechless. Of all things, he hadn't expected this. This wasn't the Draco he knew. The one who made everyone else miserable, but never himself. Where was this coming from?  
  
"Malfoy." Harry reached out as Draco pushed himself off the ground. "I..." Harry stopped as he noticed a long, jagged scar running down the side of Draco's neck, across the shoulder his shirt had slipped from.  
  
"Where did..." But before he could continue, Harry remembered Lucius Malfoy standing in front of him, in the den of the Manor.  
  
He was holding a letter from Professor Snape.  
  
"How DARE you fail your O.W.L.s!"  
  
Harry cringed as Lucius walked toward him, but only inwardly. He knew better than to show fear, anger...anything... in front of ...his father?  
  
Lucius leaned toward Harry. "You have become a disgrace to the Malfoy name! There was a time you were an excellent student, even if," he sneered, "you were lacking in everything else. Now, you can't even do ONE thing right." Harry stood rigid, resigned to his fate. Lucius walked slowly over to the table, picking up the letter once more.  
  
"Severus has graciously allowed you to complete the exams again, over the summer. Perhaps," Lucius spat the words, "you need some...encouragement. Perhaps I have been neglecting my parental duties. Do you agree?"  
  
Harry swallowed hard. He knew what he had to say.  
  
"I SAID, DO YOU AGREE?" Lucius was inches from Harry's face.  
  
"Yes, sir," he said meekly.  
  
Harry moaned as the fangs of the silver snake at the tip of Lucius' cane ripped into his flesh, the blow knocking him to the floor. He would not cry out...not even after the third or fourth or fifth....  
  
"You what, Potter? And don't touch me."  
  
"What...?" Harry looked up to find Draco staring down at him. He was still lying on the wet ground, far below the tower.  
  
End of Chapter II. 


	3. The Closet

Chapter III. The Closet  
  
"What the hell is the matter with me?"  
  
Draco was muttering under his breath, breath that left a smoky vapor as it escaped his mouth.  
  
He was freezing, but paid little attention to the cold as he ran outside to the center grounds.  
  
He had to get outside, to clear his mind.  
  
To figure out what had just happened.  
  
Over the last few days, ever since the night he had tried to jump from the tower, Draco had been remembering things, memories that didn't fit, memories that brought back pain, brought back tears...  
  
Memories that were not his.  
  
He had been walking from Potions to Transfigurations class, (perhaps "walking" was a bit strong, he had been up most of the night before, and was barely on his feet.) when he felt someone grab his arms on either side, the breath alone confirming their identities... Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
"What's the matter, Malfoy?" Goyle singsonged. "Not happy to see your two best friends?"  
  
Draco hardly looked up. "I told you, I've got things on my mind. I just..."  
  
"Want to be alone?" Crabbe taunted. "Fine.You can be alone as long as you want. As a matter of fact.." He grabbed the door handle of a tiny storage closet. Before Draco could react, Crabbe had him by the back of the cloak, and slammed into the minute space. "You can be alone for the rest of your miserable life for all we care." Goyle slammed the door shut with a sickening laugh. They knew about Draco's refusal to join the Death Eaters. Their fathers had made sure they knew they no longer had to bow down to the Malfoy progeny.  
  
In their eyes, he was as good as dead.  
  
Draco turned around to face the door, or at least what he thought was the door. It was pitch black. Bloody idiots, he thought. When I get out of here... "You will STAY in there you little..FREAK."  
  
Draco was crying. He was holding the remains of a half crushed fairy cake, the only thing he had been allowed to have at...Dudley's party?  
  
"Bu...but.. I want to play too!" Draco cried. He was so small. Curled up in the far corner of the little cot, he was engulfed by the too-big clothes, the ill-fitting glasses that slid off his face.  
  
"You are through playing for today, boy! Do you have any IDEA what you did to our Dudley?"  
  
Draco couldn't understand what he'd done. They were playing pin the tail on the donkey, and it was finally Draco's turn, after everyone else had already gone three times. While Draco had the blindfold on, Dudley had pushed him, kicked him, and finally knocked him down. All Draco knew was the tail he was holding floated out of his hand, and he heard Dudley scream bloody murder. He felt the horrible slap across his face, the blindfold torn from his eyes as he was dragged down the hall and thrown under the stairs.  
  
Into the dark.  
  
Uncle Vernon was furious with him, and he didn't understand why.  
  
"Your parents were freaks, and you will always be a freak! You have RUINED Dudley's 5th birthday.!"  
  
Draco pulled his legs against him, crying hysterically. "I'm...I'm so..rr..y," he cried.  
  
"Too right you are," Uncle Vernon said quietly. "Oh,", he turned back to the door. "You'd best make that fairy cake last, Potter. It's all you will get for the rest of the day."  
  
"Alohomora."  
  
"What..?" Draco stumbled out of the closet to see Professor McGonagall. "You were lucky I walked out of class when I did, Mr. Malfoy. Seems your "friends" tried to put an unbreakable locking spell on the door. " Draco blinked. He was..actually...crying?  
  
What was going on?  
  
"Are you alright, Mr. Malfoy?" McGonagall asked.  
  
"I..I don't know." He stammered. "I just...I.."  
  
Draco bolted, running through the crowded school hall.  
  
He had to get outside.  
  
End of Chapter III. 


	4. Realization

Chapter IV. Realization  
  
"I need a word with you, Potter."  
  
Harry was coming off the Quidditch field after another late evening practice, something he had picked up from former Captain Wood, who would have had the team out 24 hours straight if he could. Now that he was Captain, he understood Oliver's enthusiasm. Of course, Harry felt free on the Firebolt 4, completely in his element. It was the only place he felt comfortable in his own skin. And for now, that skin was soaked. A light rain had begun to fall during practice, and after several hours, Harry was dry no more.  
  
"What about?" he barely glanced at Draco. He had been pushing the thoughts out of his mind that came to him now on a regular basis, memories he could not possibly have. It was bad enough to have his own, but Draco's too?  
  
"What kind of spell did you curse me with, Potter?" Draco spat at him. "Trying to make me think you have it tougher than I? 'Show him how misreable your life is, make him grateful you saved him, appreciate what he has and all that rot.' Is that what this is? Well, fine. You made your point. Now make it stop!"  
  
Harry stopped in mid stride, broom hanging from his hand, and turned slowly toward Draco.  
  
"I wish I could," he whispered.  
  
"Then do it!" Draco yelled.  
  
"You don't understand," Harry's voice now rose. "I don't know what I did. The spell was supposed to put us both back up on the tower, but I got it wrong, said the wrong word, and I don't remember what I said or how to change it. All I remember is us falling into that cloud. And for your information," Harry cried as he leaned forward, "I don't enjoy having your memories either!"  
  
Draco opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing would come. Harry was having HIS memories? What had he seen?  
  
Harry turned to walk off, he was tired, he was dirty, and he needed a shower.  
  
"Potter!" Draco cried after him. More softly, "wait."  
  
Harry didn't look at him. "What?"  
  
"Look, I'm...well, I didn't know, O.K.? I thought you did it on purpose. I'm..."  
  
Harrry faced him.  
  
Draco's voice softened. "I'm sorry, alright?"  
  
Harry nodded. Was there anything to really say at this point?  
  
"So what do we do now?" Draco asked.  
  
"I've been going through some of the books in the library, and I found the spell I wanted to perform that night. I should have said "Reversio."  
  
"Obviously, you didn't", Draco pointed out.  
  
"Obviously." Harry mangaged a weak smile. "But as to what I did say, well, there are hundreds of variations, and so far, none of them say 'will reverse memories'. 'Course, some of them are a bit vague too, so who knows?"  
  
Harry sat down next to the wall, pulling his legs up to him. "Do you remember anything about the fall?" He asked Draco.  
  
Draco slid down the wall next to him. "Not really. I remember falling, and you holding me around the waist, but.... A short flash went through Draco's mind. He saw himself, standing on the tower, saw him starting to jump.  
  
'No', he thought, 'Not Draco, not my Draco...'  
  
My Draco?  
  
"Malfoy," Harry half-shouted. "Are you alright?"  
  
Draco dared to glance toward Harry. 'Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just trying to remember, that's all."  
  
"Any luck?" Harry asked. He was leaning toward Draco, searching for...for what? Draco swallowed hard. Don't think about it, he told himself. This was part of the reason you were on that tower, remember?  
  
"No."  
  
Harry started to get up off the floor, he was getting cold, and was still soaking wet. "We can look in the restricted section tomorrow," Harry offered. "There must be a book somewhere..."  
  
Harry froze in mid-sentence. He was looking at a book, some book, held in his hand. He was barely aware of his surroundings, green velvet curtains pulled tight around the ancient four poster bed.  
  
"Mmmmm...."  
  
Harry was lying on silver sheets, his head thrown back in ecstasy as he slid his already wet hand up and down his throbbing cock.  
  
Draco's cock.  
  
Another few strokes, a glance at the book, and he came with a soft cry, sticky cum coating his fingers.  
  
"Harry..."he whispered.  
  
The voice wasn't his. He had never heard Draco's voice so soft, so sensuous... Harry picked up the book, a scrapbook. It was filled with dozens of photos, of articles from the Daily Prophet, anything and everything about The-Boy- Who-Lived. "Oh, yes..' he moaned." Harry..."  
  
"Potter? Potter!" This time it was Draco's turn to shock Harry back to the present. Harry didn't move. He was all too aware of Draco, searching his face for answers. "I'm...I'm just tired, long day. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He turned toward Draco. "We'll get it fixed. It'll be alright."  
  
Draco's face eased. "O.K. See you tomorrow."  
  
Harry carefully pushed himself up from the floor, and headed for the showers.  
  
He definitly needed one now.  
  
End of Chapter IV. 


	5. Enter Night

Thank you so much to all who have reviewed so far! These next two chapters are a bit darker, but I promise, it does lighten up toward the end...and we find you can learn all kinds of things in the library.... (hint, hint)  
  
Chapter V. Enter Night  
  
Draco writhed uncontrollably under the covers. He was soaking wet, muffled cries threatening to wake the entire dorm. Suddenly he bolted awake, and sat straight up amongst the crumpled bedclothes.  
  
"No!" he screamed, his voice laced with pure terror.  
  
"Now what?" yelled Goyle. "Another one of your stupid nightmares, Malfoy? Shut up and go back to sleep!"  
  
Draco swallowed the huge lump in his throat, his head held in his shaking hands. The nightmares were coming more frequent now, and getting worse.  
  
And the worst was the one that kept replaying like a tape loop, the one that had plagued him for three solid nights, including tonight.  
  
The one where he held Ron Weasley as he died in his arms.  
  
Draco tried to push the memory, HARRY'S memory, out of his head. But he couldn't. He knew the story of course, everyone did. But he hadn't been there.  
  
Now he had.  
  
And it was worse than any of them had imagined.  
  
The dream always played out the last few minutes. Draco and several of the Order of the Phoenix had managed to find where Voldemort and a few of his followers were hiding. The Dark Wizard was weaker now, months of fighting had taken a toll. Draco had wanted Ron to stay behind but he knew better than to push it. They were inseparable, and truth was Draco felt better when Ron was there, safer somehow.  
  
It was this thought that would haunt Draco for the rest of his life.  
  
He had been concentrating on the Death Eaters. He never saw Voldemort raise his wand, never heard the beginnings of the killing curse, until it was too late.  
  
What he did see was Ron throw himself between them.  
  
"RON!!!"  
  
Oh, gods. Draco's hands shook even harder as he remembered the horrible scream, the twisted body as he fell to the ground. Moments later the others had driven Voldemort back, and Draco had run to his fallen friend. Cradling Ron in his arms, he rocked him back and forth, holding tightly to his hand as he felt the warmth ebb, leaving him cold, so cold...  
  
Things are not what they used to be, missing one inside of me  
  
Deathly lost, this can't be real, cannot stand the hell I feel  
  
Draco brushed the soft ginger hair away from Ron's face. With tears falling onto Ron's cheeks, Draco leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.  
  
Growing darkness, taking dawn, I was me, but now he's gone  
  
"Goodbye, Ron" he whispered."My knight once again..."  
  
And then he broke down.  
  
The cry had started low, but grew to a primal, guttural bellow that echoed in Draco's mind, tear-stained face turned upward to the heavens.  
  
"NO!"  
  
Draco would bolt awake screaming every night, heart pounding as he relived the last moments of Weasley's life.  
  
He stumbled over to the sink in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face. "I...I..didn't know..." he mouthed. He knew Weasley's death had affected Harry, of course, but...the pain. The sheer magnitude of pain that Draco felt every time the nightmare replayed itself.  
  
Now Draco understood why Potter turned his back on all his friends after that. They all thought he would come around, needed time to come to grips with what had happened. That wasn't it at all. Draco knew now.  
  
Harry had decieded he would never again let himself get close to anyone, to love anyone, or be loved by anyone.  
  
Everyone who loved him wound up dead.  
  
And that wasn't a price he wanted anyone else to have to pay.  
  
Draco climbed back into the bed, pulling the covers up as far as he possibly could. He wouldn't go back to sleep tonight, he never did after the nightmares.  
  
Draco wrapped his arms around himself and curled into the smallest ball he could. "You and I, Harry," Draco whispered, "are not as different as you think."  
  
End of Chatpter V. A/N: The italicized lines are from the Metallica song "Fade to Black" and the title of the chapter is from "Enter Sandman." 


	6. The Dark Forest

Chapter VI. The Dark Forest  
  
It was a shortcut between classes that brought it out.  
  
Harry was running late, having spent a bit too much time talking after Care of Magical Creatures. Transfiguration would start in 5 minutes, and he had 8 minutues ahead of him if he continued the regular route to class.  
  
He decided to take a more direct route, through the edge of the Dark Forest. He was always torn about this place, it scared him, fascinated him, and tormented him. There was something different about it now, something strangely familiar...  
  
He peered into the trees, what was it that...  
  
"NO! Please, don't...."  
  
"Then ACCEPT!"  
  
Harry looked up at his father as the tears he had fought back were daring to slide down his cheek He couldn't do what he asked. He couldn't. But if he didn't...  
  
The circle of Death Eaters closed ranks around the two. Harry had been brought here to complete his destiny, to be branded with the Dark Mark and join his father in service to Voldemort. They could not force the Mark upon him, he had to accept.and he had known for a long time he would refuse, and had prepared himself to die rather than become the cold, evil shell his father had become.  
  
He had not been prepared for this.  
  
During Sixth-Year, Harry had made an unlikely friend in Padma Patil, a Ravenclaw who caught him coming back down the Astromony tower stairs one night. She had seen the agony he was in, saw the shame, felt the cold, tear stained hands he allowed her to take as they dropped to the floor of the deserted hallway. Harry had needed the words to come out, to confess everything sixteen years of "Malfoys do NOT show emotions" had brought him to. And she had listened. Listened and understood. Padma had put her arms around him and held him as he talked, rocking him back and forth as gently as his own mother never had.  
  
Harry had kept that friendship a secret, knowing the other Slytherins would make her life, not to mention his, a living hell if they knew. He had always been jealous of the bond between Potter, Weasley and Granger. Harry had never had a true friend. You certainly couldn't count the ones his father paid to play with him as a child, and Crabbe and Goyle...they were ordered to stay by his side. But this was different. Padma talked to him because she liked him. Not because of his wealth and name, or out of fear, but because she genuinely cared for him.  
  
And now she was chained to a rotting tree at midnight in the Dark Forest.  
  
They had known. Somehow, they had found out.  
  
She was bloodied and bruised, but alive, hanging weakly by the one chain that bound each of her wrists and wrapped behind her head around the tree.  
  
Harry stood in shock as Lucius slowly walked toward him.  
  
"Yes, pity isn't it, Draco? We really didn't want to mar that perfect skin, but she put up such a fight."  
  
Harry felt the anger rise in his cheeks, his fists clenched till nails dug into his palms. "Why her?" Harry spat.  
  
"Because, dear boy, I needed assurance you would make..." he turned toward Padma, "the right decision."  
  
"She means nothing to me."Harry swallowed, hoping he would sound convincing enough.  
  
"Oh, really?" Lucius smiled. "Well, then, I suppose it would be lovely if we had a bit of fun before the ceremony. CRUCIO!"  
  
Harry had no time to react as Lucius unsheathed his wand from his ever present cane and pointed it toward the tree.  
  
Toward Padma.  
  
She stiffened slightly as the bolt hit her, then the scream, the horrible scream came from her as she writhed in unspeakable pain. Harry watched in horror as her legs fell out from under her, the cuffs biting into her delicate wrists. Blood was beginning to run down her arms, the scream dying away to a small whimper as the spell subsided.  
  
"NO! Please, don't...."  
  
"Then ACCEPT! I do not want to kill her, Draco," Lucius whispered. "But make no mistake, I will if you refuse. You are a bloody MALFOY, and you will not bring shame on our family!"  
  
Harry stood perfectly still as he felt the sleeve of his robe being pushed up past his elbow. He had to do this. He would not let them hurt her anymore.  
  
"Dra...co..."  
  
Harry looked toward the one person who had ever shown him kindness, the one person who had not judged him.  
  
"Padma?"  
  
"Don't."  
  
"What?" He stammered.  
  
"Don't do it. Please."  
  
Harry shook his head. What was she doing?  
  
"They will kill you."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I don't understand!" Harry yelled. "Why would you do this? I can save you!"  
  
Padma smiled.  
  
"Because I can save you."  
  
Lucius grabbed Harry's arm. "Enough of this! Draco, come here NOW! Accept your fate."  
  
Padma turned to Harry.  
  
"Please...Promise me, you will..never be one of them." Her voice was small and strained, but the words cut through the still night air. "Draco..." she pleaded. "Promise me!"  
  
Harry sank to his knees. He couldn't refuse her. But he couldn't bear the thought... The words hung in his raw throat, battling with his heart to come out. Finally he looked up to Padma's waiting face, and managed a small smile..for her. "I promise."  
  
She smiled back at him.  
  
Nothing they could do now would ever break him.  
  
Lucius stepped back in sheer fury. "Then so be it! AVADA KEDAVRA!"  
  
Two screams echoed through the forest, from one dying, and one who wished he were... "Harry, are you alright? Speak to me!"  
  
Hermione was crouched over the slumped figure on the ground, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Harry was shaking, his voice broken by the racking sobs. "I...I...he hurts..oh, gods..."  
  
"Who hurt you?" she whispered.  
  
Slowly he got up from the ground and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. "I have to see someone," he choked.  
  
"Harry! Wait!"  
  
No, he thought. I've waited long enough.  
  
End of Chapter VI. 


	7. Lonely In Our Nightmares

A/N: Thank you so much to all who have reviewed so far:  
  
Lanevaly and RiverWhiteDragon-Yes, it does, it gets quite interesting...  
  
Ice Lupis and silver-sparklze-And more we have...  
  
Andia-There is a reason for using 26th April, but I have to wait until the last chapter (10) to say. Thank you for the wonderful review and the suggestion to let all review. (I didn't realize I had it that way.) As for the relationship between Harry and Ron, it wasn't a sexual one, but one closer than brothers, "the one he would miss the most..."  
  
On with the show...  
  
Chapter VII. Lonely In Our Nightmares  
  
Harry ran toward the castle, his heartbeat pounding in time to the heavy footfalls, first against the soft ground, and then the hardened pathway stone.  
  
He had to talk to Draco.  
  
He had to talk to Draco now.  
  
Transfiguration was long since over, and classes were changing. It wouldn't be difficult for Harry to find Malfoy. Since third-year he had memorized Draco's class schedule, originally to make sure he never had to see him.  
  
And later to make sure he did.  
  
Harry knew the blond would be leaving Potions and hurried to reach the dungeon, his mind racing. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but right now...  
  
"Malfoy!"  
  
Draco spun around in mid-stride, nearly dropping his books as he turned.  
  
"Potter?"  
  
Harry half ran to the Slytherin's side, still panting from the exertion.  
  
"Can..can we talk somewhere private?" he wheezed, his hand on the wall to steady himself.  
  
Draco glanced around the now almost empty corridor. He moved closer to Harry, whispering so the remaining students wouldn't hear.  
  
"We can go to my dorm. No one will be in there right now. Did you find out how to break the spell?" he asked hopefully.  
  
Harry shook his head. "Not yet. But.." He glanced up to meet Draco's icy blue eyes, so fragile, so soft, so beautiful. Had he not noticed before? Well, he thought, A bit difficult when you are lying on the ground getting your nose broken by the hands attached to the body that owns those eyes...  
  
Harry suppressed a grin. "Let's go."  
  
A few minutes later they were standing in the middle of the huge Slytherin common-room. Harry had been here before, in second-year, when he and Ron had used the Polyjuice Potion to transform into Crabbe and Goyle. Draco was unaware of the previous visit, or at least Harry thought he was. How many memories had he seen by now?  
  
"Well?" Draco asked.  
  
"I know about Padma." Harry said softly. "I passed through the edge of the Dark Forest, and I...I saw what happened that night. The night you refused to join the Death Eaters."  
  
Draco nearly fell onto the black leather couch.  
  
"I know about Weasley, too." he choked. "I know how it happened. I saw it. I keep having these nightmares, and I wake up screaming."  
  
Both boys stared at the floor for 10, 15, 20 seconds...  
  
Finally Draco broke the silence. "Ain't life a bitch." he whispered. Harry couldn't help but smile. Leave it to Draco to sum it up so eloquently.  
  
"I always thought you and I were at opposite ends of the spectrum," said Harry. "I was the hero, and you were the villain. Always good, always evil. Always expected to be good and evil. I never knew what you were going through. It was easier to imagine you were horrible, easier to..."  
  
Harry stopped in mid-sentence, cheeks slightly blushing. Not now, he thought, not now.  
  
Draco looked up. "Easier to what?"  
  
"Nothing." Harry lied. "Tell me about Padma."  
  
Draco propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands in front of him. "She was my best friend," he said quietly. "My only real friend. Padma made me find a part of myself I never knew existed. We talked about everything; things I would normally have died before revealing, but with her it felt so normal, so right."  
  
Harry noticed the tears beginning to slide down Draco's pale cheeks.  
  
"Did you love her?" Harry asked softly.  
  
"Yes." Draco sniffed. "But not in a romantic way. She was like my sister, or my mum. I....I don't like..."  
  
Draco caught himself just as the words were coming out of his mouth. Oh, shit, he thought. All I need is for Potter to realize what that means. He glanced over at the Gryffindor. Was it his imagination, or did Harry have a slightly reddish tint to his cheeks and a smile that he was trying very hard to hide?  
  
"We both lost our best friends." Draco went on. "I know now how hard it was for you after Weasley died. You didn't show any emotion, didn't talk to anyone about it. I was starting to think you were glad he was gone. I know why you walked away from everyone, Potter. I know why you stopped caring."  
  
Harry sat down next to Draco on the couch. "What do you mean?"  
  
"'Everyone who loves you winds up dead'. That's what you think. That's why you won't get close to anyone. That's why you would rather be lonely than let anyone in your life."  
  
Harry nodded slowly. "Spoken from a man who knows."  
  
Draco's heart jumped as Harry leaned into him. "You had decided the same thing, Malfoy. You were going to make sure no one loved you again. But it's not that simple."  
  
Harry closed the gap between them, both beginning to tremble like leaves. "Let me in," Harry whispered against Draco's soft mouth.  
  
"Wh..Why..?" the shocked blonde panted.  
  
Harry smiled gently, his voice trailing off as he pulled his former enemy into a passionate kiss."Because we're lonely in our nightmares..."  
  
End of Chapter VII. A/N: The title and the last lines are based on the Duran Duran song "Lonely in your Nightmare".  
  
Slash warning: The next chapters live up to the R rating; steamy sexual scenes (say that three times fast)! Only read if it doesn't offend...But would you really be reading this anyway if it did... :) 


	8. Declarations and Relevations

Chapter VIII. Declarations and Relevations  
  
It was only a minute, but it felt like forever.  
  
Harry and Draco clung to each other, six and a half years of hate, fear, love and lust bottled in one desperate kiss. Suddenly it all made sense . They were exact opposites.  
  
And they were exactly the same.  
  
Slowly they parted, their eyes locking, green on grey, both searching for the right words.  
  
"Harry.." Draco whispered.  
  
"What, not Potter?" Harry smiled, breaking the tension.  
  
Draco smiled back. "I have this habit of referring to one who knows my mouth intimately by their first name. Just good manners, you know." He continued before he lost his nerve.."I...I never knew you felt this way. Why would you want me, after all I have done to you, to your friends? I made your life miserable for nearly seven years. You are everything I wanted to be and was never allowed to even try. I hated you for it! Then I realized it was more than that. More than I wanted to admit." Draco cupped his hand under Harry's jaw, his thumb sliding gently over the tear that fell down the dark-haired boy's cheek.  
  
Harry leaned closer to Draco. "We have fought for too long; fought each other, our feelings, our world", Harry spoke. "I don't want to fight anymore. I want to feel, to love, to break down without everyone saying 'Oh, look, the great Harry Potter, never thought he would finally snap, now did ya'.Well, you do if you see enough death, enough pain. And if you can't love the one you want, that you need..."  
  
He dropped his head, his voice barely audible. "I don't want to be the hero anymore. I just want to be Harry. Not The-Fucking-Boy-Who- Happens-To-Survive-When-No-One-Else-Does."  
  
Draco pulled Harry to him in a swift movement, his arms wrapped around the now sobbing Gryffindor.  
  
"We'll find a way, Harry," he whispered.  
  
Later that evening, Harry and Draco sat at a small wooden table in the back of the library, books piled on top of books, one falling every now and then with a thud when a fresh armload dropped onto the table. They had been at this for hours, looking for the counterspell that would free them from each other's memories. Harry was half-way through the fifty-seventh book when he jumped up from the chair.  
  
"This is it! I found the spell I did that night."  
  
Harry took the book, Ancient Incantations and Scarcely-Used Spells, around the table and laid it out in front of Draco.  
  
"Reverso-Used most often as a form of punishment, it binds enemies by giving the memories of each person to the other. The cloud that erupts from the wand of the spell-caster envelops the victims momentarily, connecting them. Most often the receivers of the spell will be unable to handle the double onslaught of memories and emotions and eventually will go mad."  
  
"Just a hop, skip, and a jump down that happy road, wouldn't you say?" Draco smiled.  
  
"Shh." Harry shushed. "There's more.The only way to reverse the spell is to do just that. The caster and the receivers must return to the same place, at the same time, and repeat the EXACT same actions as when cast. Any variations will only intensify the spell, thus hastening the maddening effect."  
  
"So," Draco realized. "We have to go back to the bloody tower, and JUMP?"  
  
"It would appear so." Harry replied."And if we don't get it right..."  
  
"We lose our ever-loving minds." Draco finished. "Hold on, what happens if you do the spell too soon, or too late, for the fall? Do we.."  
  
"A trip to St. Mungo's at best, a trip to the morgue at worst." Harry interjected. "But, if we do this right, we're freed from the spell. And if we don't break it, we'll go mad anyway. Doesn't look like we have much of a choice."  
  
Harry leaned closer to the silent blond. "Draco...Are you with me?"  
  
"Yeah," he finally spoke. "Like you said, it's not like we have a choice. The irony is this all started because I didn't think I had anything to live for, and now.." he looked at Harry." I feel like I have everything to live for. I'm sorry you have to go through this."  
  
"I'm not, " Harry proclaimed. "We would never have known how we felt if we didn't have those memories. We are connected now, we understand. Even if it goes horribly wrong on that tower, I will not regret what happened. You would have killed yourself, and who knows what I would have done eventually. We each got a second chance, Draco. And you and I, we have our first chance."  
  
Draco glanced around the library. They had been so engrossed in finding the spell they didn't realize the time. It was now nearly ten o'clock, and everyone else was gone.  
  
"Looks like no one noticed we were back here." Draco smiled. "It's just you and me."  
  
Harry started to reply, but the words were cut short and muffled against Draco's eager mouth, the kiss deepening as the Slytherin fell back onto the chair and pulled the now moaning Gryffindor down to straddle his lap.  
  
"Mmmmph, Hrry.." Draco finally mumbled.  
  
"Mmhmm?"  
  
Breaking the kiss, Harry looked into the finally sparkling ice eyes of the gorgeous blond.  
  
"If I can walk," Draco grinned. "We need to, as the Muggles say, 'get a room'."  
  
End of Chapter VIII.  
  
A/N: Next chapter is titled Detonate. And for good reason. :) 


	9. Detonate

Again thank you to all that have reviewed! It has been much appreciated. This chapter has a HEAVY slash warning, the "climax" of the story, so to speak. Please only read if you are not offended, or of the faint of heart.  
  
Having said that, I present....  
  
Chapter IX. Detonate  
  
"I would say, my love, that we already have a room." Harry smiled wickedly.  
  
The lion and the dragon were facing each other, Draco sitting in the same wooden chair he had for most of the evening, just this time with a certain Gryffindor straddling his lap.  
  
Draco's eyebrows shot up with surprise. "We do?"  
  
Harry brought his wand out from his robes in one swift move.  
  
"INVISIOSIO!"  
  
Instantly a irridescent barrier surrounded the room, blending in with the the bookshelves, tables and chairs, much the way the invisibility cloak did.  
  
"Now, no one can see, or hear us. A handy spell I picked up while wandering the grounds at night. Not even Mrs. Norris can tell we're here."  
  
"Good thing, too," Draco laughed. "Although, she lives with Filch. Can't imagine there's a lot that would shock her."  
  
"Oh, this might," Harry breathed into Draco's mouth as he covered it with his own, his hand trailing to work at the clasp on the black school robe the blond wore.  
  
"Harry..." The name was barely whispered; Draco's eyes closing as he felt the strong hand of his former enemy slide from his chest to his neck. Harry's lips never left Draco's as he felt the silver and black tie slowly being pulled away, the satiny fabric flowing through Harry's fingers. With a final tug, Harry freed the tie, wrapping it around his hand as he did so.  
  
Draco snaked his hands around the raven-hair's waist, pulling him closer as he felt Harry's covered hand trail down his smooth cheek as he devoured his mouth.  
  
The touch of satin, the warm lips, the weight of the other boy on his lap proved to be too much for the already tense Slytherin. Harry growled in the back of his throat as he felt Draco harden beneath him, his own erection making itself painfully aware against the now-tight school uniform trousers.  
  
Draco let his head drop back as he felt Harry trace his jawline with his tongue, his lips, down to his neck to softly suckle at the tender flesh.  
  
/He was in Potions, watching Draco as he leaned back in his chair, exposing his creamy throat. He imagined how he would taste, how he would feel, would he moan for him.../  
  
The memory flashed through Draco's mind as he lost himself in the sensation, a deep moan escaping his parted lips. Harry shuddered as he heard it, his hips beginning to grind a little before he broke his mouth away to try to speak.  
  
"Jumper...off...now..." Harry gasped as he grabbed the bottom of Draco's jumper and pulled it off in one quick, if not steady, motion. A few more moments, a couple of popped buttons later, and the shirt swiftly followed to the floor. Harry stood enough to begin gliding his mouth down his lover's chest, his hands planted firmly on either of the blond's knees. Draco grasped the edges of the chair, mewling faintly as Harry's tongue circled first one, and then the other hardened nipple, teeth raking gently across before sucking roughly.  
  
/It was a warm day earlier in the year, and the students had just finished lunch. He glanced over to the Gryffindor table, hoping to steal a look at the dark-haired boy. His eyes widened as he watched him devour the vanilla pudding, his tongue lapping at the spoon so not to miss any of the creamy dessert, then over his lips in a slow circle. He could feel that tongue, feel his lips.../  
  
A low growl escaped from Harry as Draco's recollection of that meal played out in his mind. He slid his mouth further down, kissing every half-inch as Draco arched up off the chair toward Harry, biting his lip as he watched his fellow Seeker nipping at his trouser button. It didn't take long for Harry to unfasten the bothersome clothing, dragging the zipper down to reveal silver silk boxers. Draco sucked in his breath as Harry's hand brushed against him, sliding first the trousers, then the boxers, to the stone floor. The Slytherin trembled as the Hogwarts hero knelt between his legs, emerald eyes gazing into his as Harry leaned forward to wrap his mouth around Draco, his tongue darting back and forth around the top, pulling a guttural sound from the writhing blond . "Harry...." he moaned. "Please....more...."  
  
Draco pushed himself up to thrust deep into Harry's warm mouth as the Gryffindor slid his hands under Draco's hips, pulling him even further in as his sucked him harder, already tasting the salty liquid trickling onto his tongue . Draco buried his hands into Harry's dark hair, his thumb brushing aside the wispy bangs to bare that scar, that gorgeous, sexy scar...  
  
/He was lying in bed, early morn, with the curtains closed. The scrapbook was beside him, mostly hidden underneath the bedclothes. He was focused on one picture, one close picture of his desire, his hand pumping faster and faster. He wanted to cum all over him, his chest, his mouth, his scar.../  
  
Harry moaned louder as he recalled Draco's vivid fantasy, his own hand tearing at the button of his trousers while he moved his mouth up and down over the Pride of Slytherin's wet, hard....  
  
"Harry!" Draco cried as he dug his fingers deeper into the dark locks. "Oh, yes, there, suck...harder...oh, gods...." Harry tasted the first jolt as Draco came hard, thrusting up from the chair as he gritted his teeth, eyes shut tightly with his head thrown back. Harry replaced his mouth with his Quidditch-worn hand, stroking Draco to completion against his lips, his cheek, his scar....  
  
Draco leaned forward, his breath catching as he watched Harry. In a instant he pulled the Gryffindor up to him for a fiery kiss, tasting himself on the other's lips, before moving his tongue over Harry's jaw, his cheek and up to his forehead, licking every sticky drop off as he went. Slowly he dragged his mouth back down, sharing the taste once more as Draco's tongue dueled with Harry's, his hands grasping at his robes.  
  
"You..."Draco murmered,"...have...mmph...too...oh...many....mmmm...clothes....*gasp*.. .on...."  
  
And for once, Harry was inclined to agree with Mr. Malfoy.  
  
Harry broke the kiss long enough for Draco to strip the remainder of the cumbersome clothing off, tossing it to the floor to join his own. Hands wandered freely across sweat-soaked skin, the heat radiating between them. Harry pivoted Draco so that his back was to the table, before leaning forward to attack his bruised lips, pushing the blond down onto his back as Harry positioned himself atop him. Draco moaned wildly as he felt first one, then two thick fingers inside him, sliding back and forth as the raven- haired Gryffindor dragged his mouth over his lover's neck, sucking softly even as his fingers moved a little faster, a little deeper.  
  
/It was the last Quidditch match of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Gryffindor was up 30 points, and Harry had caught sight of the snitch, low to the ground. Harry went in to a full power dive, hand inches from the golden orb, unaware the Slytherin seeker had seen it as well. Ten seconds later, the two of them lay in a heap, Harry on top of a shaken Draco. Neither of them moved for what seemed like hours as Harry allowed his mind to form the most decadent pictures , all thoughts of the snitch gone as Harry felt his body react to the object of his desire.../  
  
Draco smiled playfully. "So it wasn't my imagination."  
  
"What?" Harry breathed.  
  
"Later..." he whispered. "I'll tell you later."  
  
Harry pulled himself forward, covering Draco's mouth with his own as he pushed himself deeply into the writhing blond. The old wooden table protested loudly as they rocked back and forth atop it, Draco rising to meet each of Harry's pounding thrusts. With a guttural cry Harry came hard, fingernails digging into Draco's shoulders as he shuddered with the sheer force of pent-up emotions and desires.  
  
Thirty minutes and one spell later, they left the library. By now it was nearly midnight, and both knew it would only be a matter of time before someone came looking for them. Draco glanced back as they walked down the stone corridor.  
  
"You know," Draco smiled, "maybe Granger is right. Maybe it is a good idea to spend a little time in the library."  
  
End of Chapter IX.  
  
A/N: The next chapter is the final one of this story, and I would like to ask for any suggestions or requests to be included. I have the basic written, but I always thought it was interesting to include a few surprises from the readers. Thanks! GE 


	10. Back to The Tower

This is the last chapter for Reverso. Again, Thank You so much to all that have reviewed! I have been thinking of writing a sequel, so please, please give me some suggestions.  
  
Andia-I told you there was a reason for the dates I used...26th May is my birthday. :)  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Chapter X. Back to The Tower  
  
It was close to midnight on the 26th of May.  
  
Harry lay in bed, his heart pounding. In a few minutes, he would be climbing the stone steps to the Astronomy tower, to finally break the memory spell.  
  
One way or the other.  
  
The memories seemed to be taking over, Draco's invading more and more of Harry's mind, even as Harry's overwhelmed Draco's. He knew why the victims went mad. He could barely differentiate between them anymore as everything seemed to trigger some recollection, some almost forgotten remembrance of his, or maybe Draco's, life.  
  
12:00 a.m.  
  
Harry swung his legs around to the floor, and picked up the invisibility cloak. Carefully trodding downstairs, Harry slipped out into the corridor.  
  
Draco stood at the edge of the stone wall, trembling slightly from the cold wind. It seemed so long ago that he was here, ready to end what had become an unbearable existence. He leaned over, staring down to the moonlit grounds. He didn't remember it being so far to those grounds. What if they failed? What if they made one mistake, one minute or one meter off?  
  
Bugger all.  
  
Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
  
12:09 a.m.  
  
Harry climbed the stairs, 4 steps away from the door. He made sure his wand was in the same pocket as that night, the same buttons of his robe closed.  
  
Draco leaned forward as Harry opened the wooden door.  
  
It was as if two views from the same movie scene were melted together. Both boys remembered not only their recollection of that night, but the other's as well, flooding them with images; with emotions of pain, love, hopelessness, courage. And fear.  
  
Draco stepped forward, the moonlight catching the glistening tears streaming down his face.  
  
Harry ran toward him, dropping the cloak to the floor. "Malfoy! No!"  
  
Draco fell into the dark, unforgiving night.  
  
One hundred meters....  
  
Harry fumbled for his wand, the folds of his cloak whipping violently, making it difficult to find the pocket.  
  
Fifty meters...  
  
"Come on, dammit," he muttered, finally catching hold of the wand. But would it be in time?  
  
Twenty-five meters...  
  
Harry held tightly to Draco, trying desperately to isolate the one moment he cast the spell, even as the shared memories threatened to shatter his sanity.  
  
Ten meters...  
  
Harry held the wand toward the ground, keeping his other arm wrapped firmly around Draco. Suddenly the thoughts gelled together, one moment, one memory...Now, Harry thought. Now!  
  
"Reverso!"  
  
A shimmering cloud burst from the tip of his wand. Harry and Draco fell into it, time and bodies coming to a complete standstill as the strange vapor enveloped them. In a blinding flash of white light the cloud vanished, and dropped the two students 5 meters to the ground below.  
  
For a long moment they lay still, hardly daring to look up, before it truly sank in. "We're alive," Harry whispered.  
  
Draco pulled himself up to face the raven-haired Gryffindor.  
  
"Thanks a lot, Potter," he whispered before covering Harry's mouth with his own.  
  
It was over. And it had just begun.  
  
"Come on Harry," Draco smiled. "Make a wish."  
  
"I have all I want," Harry said. "Can't I just start on the cake?"  
  
"No," Draco stated firmly, "It's your birthday, and you have to wish for something."  
  
The two of them sat at a wooden table, in a comfortable cottage in Romania. It had once belonged to Ron's brother Charlie, and he had been happy to let Harry and Draco purchase it, at least once he stopped trying to hex Draco for surely having put some sort of charm on Potter. So, here they were, on Harry's 18th birthday, and waiting for a wish.  
  
After much thought, Harry leaned forward and blew out all of the candles. Harry smiled. He knew what he would like to have, but since it didn't seem possible, he wished for it anyway.  
  
Draco took the candles off one at a time. "So," he asked "what did you wish for?"  
  
"Oh, I can't tell you," Harry grinned. "Then it won't come true."  
  
"Well, that's with Muggle candles and birthday wishes," Draco informed him. "Wizard candles and birthday wishes DO come true."  
  
Harry stopped in mid-slice.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"They come true." Draco repeated. "What did you wish for?"  
  
Harry sat down.  
  
"Harry?" Draco asked. "Are you O.K.?"  
  
Harry stared at the now extinguished candles.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
Harry continued to stare at what seemed to be the most fascinating spot on the wall.  
  
Finally, he turned toward Draco. "You know, I really think we should go out to the markets today, maybe get a new lamp, look at the couches, the prams, the tables, the..."  
  
"Wait a minute, hold on," Draco interrupted. "What did you say?"  
  
"The couches?"  
  
"No."  
  
"New lamp?"  
  
"No. After that."  
  
"The prams?"  
  
"That's the one!" exclaimed Draco. "Exactly why would we need to go look at prams?"  
  
"True, we don't need to look at those today," Harry smiled. "After all, you'll have nine months."  
  
THE END 


End file.
